Midnight Trance.

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Where are you running to?

It’s often the case, when someone barges into your one-eyed life, automatically your vision doesn’t just double, it loses focus, becomes blurry and at the lapse of a considerable amount of time, it turns blind.

Why in every fantasized love, in an ideal world where two personas meet, an abrupt euphoria of some sort sneaks in to break every defense or barrier that was built. I still haven’t figure out the rationale. Wondrous isn’t it? How a young love blossoms into a tangible dream. However, a tiny speck of doubt can melt down even the most polished trust.

As they say, when in doubt, love. But there goes your heart again, it desperately chooses to doubt nonetheless. Even after all this time. That one spellbinding moment of butterflies and cherries suddenly turns into a monstrous nightmare of selfish lie. Because that was the choice pursued, that was the choice your mind won over your longing heart.

Sadly the notes are all dull by the time you realize it’s time to rewrite the melody.  You have wished it was all a “follow your heart” decision willing to remake. But it wasn’t—it’s over.

“The aisle is ready, the dress is sewn.

The flowers are braided, just like your hair all grown.

The shoes are polished, the linens are white.

Groom’s there already, still your heart’s not in sight.”

Nostalgic Exit.

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“You know, for a while, I thought you were the best thing that ever happened to me. But now I’m starting to think you’re the worst.” – Tiffany, Silver Linings Playbook

—–

Nostalgic Exit

I wanted to get away
far beyond your senses,
skip through emotions
and let down my defenses.

I wanted to get away
rebuild myself with trust,
be in synched with reality
there was really no us.

I wanted to get away
breathe freedom into this,
escape the maze in my mind
and be the one you will miss.

I wanted to get away
begin again without you
not sulking at the memories
coz it’s all good to be true.

(G, 02.25.2013)

Of rough lines, intrinsic ambiguity, and disturbance.

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I honestly forgot the date when I wrote this. But anyway, publishing won’t hurt. :]

—–

I was not really in the mood to create an entry, but an impulse struck me to proceed with my intrinsic signals. I admit to having disproportionate thoughts lately and the consequences are rather magnified by the minute. I was overwhelmingly effortless to convince myself that I am indeed a person of lucid intervals and weak self-control.

Supposed I was not that too eager to pose the idea to someone else’s mind, and thinking it was a negative attribute of what could be a smooth encounter. Rather I found myself sweeping off the endless dirt in my mind and unsurprisingly seeks for the removal of expectations in my very own system. I have known to feel this. Or should I say, I quite imagined this could be like this — however not that rough, not that hasty and tricky.

Presumably the same hour I was awake and I feel the need to stay half-dreaming in reality. I was literally pointing myself at the mirror, telling the reflection it is not what it should be. Neither the impulse that created the sudden urge to rant favored the awful emotion waiting to be dissolved.

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First Love.

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I’m going back to my first love,

where I can be anything I want.

Sip through a midnight air

and fickle with my lonely heart.

 

I’m going back to my first love,

where there’s no one else but You and me;

I can scream run, fly, cry, be carefree..

knowing that You love me.

 

I’m going back to my first love

shine bright like a star,

refuse to maintain any regret

and just stay where You are.

 

I’m going back to my first love

hold my head up and smile

all these things turn into nothing

when You abandon me when I die.

 

I’m going back to my first love

Sing my heart out like rain,

Fill me with Your endless presence

I want to be free from this pain.

 

I’m going back to my first love

Dance like there’s no one watching

Fire away like dragon’s breath

Wait for the one I haven’t met.

 

I’m going back to my first love

Hope for things yet unseen

Find joy in every weakness

Forever in You, I shall lean.

Maraming salamat, 2012! :)

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Disclaimer: I’d like to say I’ve given up the thought of making another year-ender post, but I would have to endure the pain of selfishness.

Hence, indulge me, if you may. 🙂

—-

Things happen, be it as they may; my faith and hope sustains me, His grace, love, and mercy conquer my soul..

2012 was indeed miraculous.

A quick recap of the events that transpired over the year would entail alot of omissions and emphasize my lapse of memory, therefore, I shall not make a detailed list anymore. I opted to make this as brief and concise as I can. 🙂

Para maiba? Hindi na ako magsusulat ng mahabang year-ender. Susubukan. :p

Para maiba? Magpapasalamat nalang ako sa mga taong patuloy bumubuo at nagpapasaya sa buhay ko. I just hope you guys know who you are! My heart would always stay grateful to each and every one of you for being a blessing to me this year. Ang sarap gumising sa bawat umaga, knowing there are people who value your existence and share the same purpose and goals with you. 🙂 Ang sarap ma-bless ni Lord para maka-bless din ng iba. 😉

Para maiba? Ayoko na maging masyadong madrama. HAHAHAHA :))) Kasi mas masarap maging masaya. Walang complications, walang iniisip na chorva. 😉 Mas mahalin ang sarili, pero mas maging forgiving din sa iba. 🙂

Para maiba? Hindi mag-iiba. Instead, ipagpapatuloy ang nasimulang advocacy sa pagtulong sa kapwa, pagbibigayan, at pagmamahal sa mga mas nangangailangan nito. Lord, I believe that You have given me a heart that sees the good in anyone, my prayer is that You continue to guard it and let Your wisdom be my guiding light to discern right from wrong, truth from lies, and lust from genuine love.

Para maiba? Mas matutong magmahal. 🙂

Para maiba? Mas matutong makinig sa Panginoon. Prayer is a two-way communication. Knowing God’s will and obedience to what He says is the only way to live a peaceful and contented life.

Para maiba? Mas mamahalin ang batas at ang kabuluhan nito. One step closer. 🙂

PARA MAIBA? Hmmmm. Sino nga ba? :)))))))))))))))))))))))

Cheers to another beautiful, blessed, and joyful year of God’s favor!!!!
Maraming salamat, 2012! Halika na, 2013! 🙂

This is what the Lord says—he who made a way through the sea,a path through the mighty waters, who drew out the chariots and horses, the army and reinforcements together, and they lay there, never to rise again, extinguished, snuffed out like a wick:

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

The wild animals honor me,the jackals and the owls,because I provide water in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland,to give drink to my people, my chosen, the people I formed for myselfthat they may proclaim my praise.”
— Isaiah 43:16-21

2-in-1

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Ritmo

Malaya, alintana’y wala

minamasid ang sarili

tila walang nahihiya

Akin ka ba?

 

Sa bawat hikbi ng alapaap,

bigla-biglaang umaalpas

pagkakita’y sumasaliw

sa ritmo ng hatinggabi.

 

Malaya, akin ka na

mananatili ang ligaya–

anino nati’y magkahagkan

ikaw na’t ako magpakailanman.

 

 

Takipsilim

Nagaalinlangan, tila hindi ikaw

sinisikap ng isip, puso’y bumibitaw;

paglalaro sa damdamin–‘wag

kita’y dapat pakawalan.

 

Pikitmata, hinahagkan kita

ngunit pag-ngiti ko’y isa

lamang kisapmata—totoo

lilipas din ating alaala.

 

Hindi ikaw, marahil nga

ni hindi mag-iiba;

Bawat ngiti sa labi ko’y

unti-unti ko nang binubura;

 

Habulin man ng pagkakataon,

tadhana ko’y napagod na.